A month ago, we purchased my wife’s Acura off the lease. She’d done less than 30,000 miles in the three years she’d had it, there was nothing wrong with it, and there wasn’t anything available for the models she liked, in the colors and with the luxury level she was keen on. So rather than worry too much about that elusive new car, we just bought the current one off the lease. Maybe in a couple of years there’ll be something she likes and we’ll consider what to do then.
Anyway, this is not about that. This is about what happens next. Not sure how they find out, but the sleazy third-party auto warranty companies start mailing me.
In fact, a couple of days ago, I had five of these in my mail. Today’s letter prompted me to scan them and write this post.
As you read through them, you start to appreciate the utter garbage data they make up to put on paper. Some programmer somewhere wrote this really nifty random “Customer ID” generator using, like, numbers and letters in different combinations, and they’ve been using it ever since.
But they all have that wonderful typographical bold FINAL NOTICE, and the sheer urgency with which they entreat you to call their number, and yet they just don’t have the imagination to veer too far from the “industry standard” bogus text and tables.
Postcards as well, of course. Goes without saying. None of them have any recognizable company name. In fact, you have to search the fine print to find any; the same fine print that sometimes states “not affiliated with any manufacturer or dealer”. But only sometimes: c'mon don’t judge, but it’s really hard to fit it all on the paper when you have tables and highlighting and words in all-caps and stuff.
But that last scan takes the biscuit: two postcards in the same red, with the same exhortation to **Please Respond Within 5 Business Days**, with the same bogus information more or less. Different phone numbers on the back though. I do appreciate the attention to detail in printing a picture of an Acura with the first though, it almost swayed me. NOT.
Talking of phone numbers, do not under any circumstances call these phone numbers: 1-888-395-8636, 1-888-242-1777, 1-800-267-9566, 1-877-223-5210, 1-877-308-5832, or 1-800-293-5048. Well, unless you want to set up some extremely sketchy auto warranties with companies you’ve never heard of, that regularly get F from the BBB, that may or may not pay up if you have something to repair that should be covered by said warranty. I’ve helped you make the decision to not phone these numbers by linking each to the their Google results. The first link on each set of results is usually enough to persuade you to leave well alone.